Rules of Life #3

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.
Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.

FIVE..
When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye..

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN..
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

NINE….
Love deeply and passionately.
You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely

TEN..
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN.
Don’t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN.
Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice

TWENTY- ONE.
Spend some time alone.

Rules of Life

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologise” and “You are right”.

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
It’s easier to eat humble pie while it’s still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you
was: “Go! You might meet somebody!”

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her *
believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself,
“Will this matter one year from now?”
How about one month? One week? One day?

9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations!
You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge.
Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it’s not that important.

13. And finally, be really nice to your friends and family.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

My Pea Sea

Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It’s rare lea ever wrong.
Eye Have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

Spelin

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer n waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Steakhouse Chili

When the weather gets cold it’s time to fire up the stovetop. This chain makes a tasty chili that warms the bones on a nippy winters day. Now that they have closed down in Adelaide it’s the only way I can pig out.

This clone recipe is easy-to-make, low-fat and delicious. And if it’s super brisk outside, you might want to add an additional tablespoon or 5 of diced jalapeno to aggressively stoke those internal flames.

1 pound ground beef
1 diced onion
1 tablespoon diced fresh jalapeno pepper
1 15-ounce can kidney beans with liquid
1 14.5-ounce can peeled diced tomatoes
1 8-ounce can tomato sauce
1 cup water
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1 bay leaf

Garnish

grated cheddar cheese
diced onion
canned whole jalapeno chili peppers

1. Brown ground beef in a large saucepan over medium heat. Drain fat.
2. Add onion and pepper and saute for about two minutes.
3. Add remaining ingredients and simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Serve one cup in a bowl with the optional cheese, diced onion and whole jalapeno garnish on top.

Makes 4 servings

Palak Paneer (Spinach Curry)

Ingredients

500g paneer pieces (cottage cheese)
1 kg spinach *(frozen spinach works well)
3 tablespoon onion (chopped)
2 tablespoon tomato (chopped)
2 tablespoon any cream (alternate: sour cream)
2 teaspoon garam masala powder
1 teaspoon cumin powder
½ teaspoon turmeric powder
2 tablespoon ghee or oil

Salt to taste

 Preparation

Heat ghee or oil. Sauté onion until light golden brown.
Add spinach and cook until it turns into a paste.
Add sour cream, spices and tomatoes. Cook for few minutes.
Add cubed paneer to spinach. Cook for about 10 minutes in medium heat.
Serve hot with rice and/or bread.

Number of Servings: 6 to 8

Jamie Oliver’s favourite curry sauce

Ingredients

5 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tsp mustard seeds
1 tsp fenugreek seeds
3 fresh green chillies, deseeded and thinly sliced
1 handful curry leaves
2 thumb-sized pieces of fresh ginger, peeled and coarsely grated
3 onions, peeled and chopped
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp turmeric
6 tomatoes, chopped
1x400ml/14fl oz tin coconut milk
salt

For the fish version:
4x225g/8oz fresh haddock fillets, skinned and pin-boned
1 knob tamarind paste or 1 tsp tamarind syrup
1 large handful baby spinach (optional)
1 good handful fresh coriander, chopped (optional)

For the chicken version:
4 chicken breasts, sliced into 1cm/ ½ in strips
1 tbsp coriander seeds, crushed

For the vegetarian version:
800g/1¾lb mixed vegetables, chopped (potatoes, courgettes, peppers, onions, sweet potatoes, spinach, chard, cauliflower, lentils, beans – use your imagination)

Method

1. Heat the oil in a pan, and when hot add the mustard seeds. Wait for them to pop, then add the fenugreek seeds, fresh green chillies, curry leaves and ginger, Stir and fry for a few minutes.
2. Using a food processor, chop the onions and add to the same pan. Continue to cook for five minutes until the onion is light brown and soft, then add the chilli powder and turmeric.
3. Using the same food processor, pulse the tomatoes and add these to the pan. Cook for a couple of minutes then add one or two wine glasses of water and the coconut milk. Simmer for about five minutes until it has the consistency of double cream, then season carefully with salt.
4. Take this sauce as a base. To make the fish curry, add the fish and tamarind to the sauce and simmer for six minutes. Feel free to add some baby spinach and chopped coriander at the end of the cooking time.
5. For the chicken version, stir-fry the chicken strips and coriander seeds until lightly coloured, then add to your sauce and simmer for 10 minutes.
6. For the vegetarian version, simply add all your veg to the sauce at the beginning when you add your onions. Continue to cook as normal and simmer until tender.