The True History of the Original "Dick Pick"

The True History of the Original "Dick Pick"

Published on 2026-04-30

Before the DM, There Was the OS: The True History of the Original “Dick Pick”

In today’s digital age, receiving a “dick pic” is generally considered a HR nightmare or a one-way ticket to being blocked on a dating app. But if we hop into a time machine and head back to the mid-1960s, a Dick Pick wasn’t a grainy, unsolicited bathroom selfie—it was a revolutionary piece of software that was actually useful.

Meet Richard “Dick” Pick, the man who was technically “sending” Dick Picks decades before the first smartphone was even a fever dream.

While the rest of the 60s was busy with Woodstock and the Space Race, Dick Pick and his partner Don Nelson were focused on something much more high-stakes: helicopter spare parts.

Working for the U.S. Army, they developed a system to manage complex inventory. This wasn’t just any database; it was a pioneering, multi-value operating system. But before it carried Dick’s name, it had a title that makes modern internet culture feel like it’s coming full circle.

The original name? GIRLS.

That’s right. The Generalized Information Retrieval Language System. History shows us that Dick Pick spent the better part of the 60s working tirelessly on GIRLS. You truly cannot make this stuff up.

Why the Original Dick Pick Was Better Than Yours

If you’re going to be known for a Dick Pick, it might as well be one that can manage a fleet of Hueys. Here is why Richard’s version remains the superior model:

  • It Was Multi-Value: Most modern “pics” are pretty one-dimensional. Richard’s system was famous for its “MultiValue” database architecture, allowing it to handle complex data structures that traditional relational databases couldn’t touch.
  • It Spoke English: Instead of confusing emojis, the Pick System used a query language called Access (or “English”). You could literally ask the computer a question in plain text, and it would answer.
  • It Was Built for the Army: While today’s version is usually deployed in the DM trenches, the original Dick Pick was helping the military keep helicopters in the sky.
  • It Had Longevity: Most “pics” are deleted in shame or disappear after 24 hours on a Story. The Pick System? It’s still running legacy systems globally today under names like UniVerse and Rocket D3.

A Legacy of Data (and Double Entendres)

Eventually, Richard Pick moved on from GIRLS and licensed the software under his own name. For decades, IT professionals would walk into boardrooms and unironically say things like, “We really need to get some more Dick Pick in this office” or “I’ve been spending all night looking at Dick Pick’s architecture.”

It was a simpler time. A time when “hard disks” and “system entry points” were just technical terms and not the setup for a cringe-worthy joke.

Final Thoughts

So, the next time someone mentions a Dick Pick, take a moment to honor the late, great Richard Pick. He gave the world a database-oriented operating system that changed the way we handle information.

He was a pioneer, a genius, and a man who—thanks to the evolution of slang—will forever have the most misunderstood legacy in tech history. Remember: if it doesn’t support multi-value data structures and helicopter maintenance, it’s not an original Dick Pick.

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